The Death File

A little thinking ahead can save your loved ones a ton of hassle.

Poop and Politics

What better way to symbolize the substance and value of a Trump opinion than a fresh dog turd? It’s, like, poetic and stuff.

Well, pardon my existence!

What’s with all the squirrels?

Ever get the feeling you’ve been watching the same movie over and over again? We have The Hero’s Journey to thank for that!

“Uh-huh. Sure. Cool story, bro! Hey look, champagne! Youwantsome?”

I planned to take a generous dose of magic mushrooms, sit out on the patio, and bliss my ass off.

However bad things may seem, there are ebbs and flows to this stuff.

My grandparents were invited to sit in a circle with the medicine men, something very few outsiders were allowed to do.

How do you get beyond just…existing for no reason? Basically living to die?

Does this mean I have a gadget hoarding problem? Maaaaaybe.

“You need to go in the bathroom! Just sit in the dark and stare off into space. You won’t believe it!!”

Something in me just wanted to dig my heels in.

RuPaul’s new song “Smile” is a rake dragged across the chalkboard of my soul.

Behold: the 2022 list of misused, bullshitty words and phrases that everyone (including you) should stop using.

Who is this Julienne, and why is she always cutting stuff? #stupidthoughts

And that’s when I saw the broomsticks.

We’re never getting that book, folks.

I guess this is our dumb new reality.